It was not that I like what I did, it is definitely not that I am sad, hurt, lost, depressed or in agony. I did that because voices in my head told me to do. Everybody has their inner angel or an inner demon. I had always listened to the angel inside me and always been good and, believe me, I was too good for my own cause. I am not going to say I like listening to my inner demon because it has definitely done lot of things for me to get screwed up but I think it’s all for good as in the end I am getting what I want maybe not the peace of mind but listening to my angel also never gave it. I know I am rude to people and I honestly don’t care what they think about me because I get my shit done when I am rude, it is like people get afraid or something if you just show them that you can be badass. I know I am losing my friends but fuck it who needs them if they can’t handle me at my worst then heck they don’t deserve me at my best. I know I am doing self-harm and it’s painful and it do give me pain but it is a beautiful pain because that’s the only time I feel I am something when I can feel that pain rising within me. Yeah, maybe listening to my demon is doing bad to me from the perspective of others but in my perspective I am totally fine and I am just going to embrace my inner demon and smile like an evil child.